I’m Coming Out…of the Spiritual Closet.

We are all multifaceted beings and we deserve all the support to cope with thing we call life. Human Design has changed my life and opened me up like nothing else could. Yet there is a lot more to my story that reaches beyond this system. Let me elaborate…

I am continuing to integrate and sort through all the things that are moving through me after the Human Design Conference I attended in Santa Fe. In particular right now I am mulling over a panel discussion entitled ‘Healing and the 9 Centered Being.’ The panel focused mostly on Human Design of course, but one person brought up the fact that his healing came through some different modalities. He said it in passing and it was never discussed further…but I wish it had been.

What I realized since my return is that I feel boxed in by Human Design. What do I mean? The truth is, this is a modality I use the most in my life, but it's definitely not the only one. My brand is called “Human Design by Zsuzsi” so why would I talk about anything else? BECAUSE I HAVE TO!

It would be inauthentic to pretend like Human Design was the one and only method I used on my healing journey (which is far from over). My journey truly started with a program called Landmark. People find it a little bit culty, but this is what opened the door for me and I will forever be grateful for what it offers. I still recommend it to people all the time. Landmark was the first place where I was ever taught to question my own thoughts, and where I was shown that the mind makes a lot of meaning out of things. It was Landmark that helped me reconnected with my father with whom I hadn't spoken in 5 years. 

What was great about this program is that it opened the door to understanding that the mind is not a reliable source of decisions. But then what is? That’s when Human Design entered the picture and it all came together for me. I started the deconditioning process and cried a LOT to release some of my old shame. As I studied different aspects of design I would have shattering after shattering. While this was an extremely healing process I would occasionally bump up against some things that I simply could not understand fully or let go of with Human Design. Enter the Akashic Records.

I had made a friend through Genetic Yoga (the company I started with my teacher) who was studying to read the Akashic Records and asked if we could do a trade. I said UH HUH and off we went.  Through her readings I was finally able to get closure on a past relationship that I simply could not get by just looking at his chart. I was also able to see the bigger picture of my existence and the path I came here to live out. Not too much time had passed before I was learning how to open my own records and speaking directly to my spirit guides (one of whom is Ra). I learned a lot about opening my heart and dropping my pride from these divine interactions. Ra was very comforting and kind. Every time I asked for help he gently reminded me that everything is in perfect flow all the time.

During this time I also started working with an oracle deck that I still use all the time. It has guided me and a lot of people I love in ways I have a hard time putting into words. It was a way for my guides to speak through the messages the cards offered. Every time I feel stuck I can always reach for the cards and they bring to me what I need to hear (not necessarily what I want to hear).

It was my Akashic teacher friend who invited me to Mount Shasta for a visit. We both knew it was for a higher purpose. It wasn’t long before I met my now husband (who I believe is a gift from heaven) and I was being invited to move into this sacred space called Crossroads (of course). I was told by another Akashic reader that my third eye would open here. I wasn’t sure what that meant at the time. My interpretation now is that I feel much more tuned in to what happens below the surface and I get messages all the time guiding me to share certain wisdom or pursue certain opportunities. I no longer feel the need to open my records, but my guides are always around bringing me exactly what I need (even if my mind doesn’t agree).

Human Design saved my life and I've heard others express the same. I've seen it save marriages, families, and definitely children. But occasionally I needed support beyond what it offers. I can name countless things that have helped me with purging stuck energy including yoga, tapping, past life regression, light language, sound baths, crystals and more. I don’t claim to be an expert in any of these things, but I want to encourage everyone to explore whatever they feel called to.

It occurred to me that the reason I haven't shared these things before is because I feel like I don't "look the part." But accepting myself is about accepting that I am a multidimensional being. I'm learning to be ok with breaking molds, even if it sometimes confuses people.

One of the roles I was able to step into through unblocking my limitations is that of a community builder who is here to collect the resources for their tribe. One of the ways I intend to do that is by inviting the people who ARE experts to share their wisdom with the members of my tribe, The ‘Be’ Hive. We all need as much support as we can get as 2027 inches closer and closer. I also know of some current members who have esoteric gifts to share, and I will be inviting them to do so in the coming months. There is no time like now.

I invite you to get in touch with me if you have any questions or if you need some guidance. My metaphorical door is always open. hello@hdbyz.com